Trustworthiness
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Be Honest
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Don't
deceive, cheat, or steal
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Be reliable-
do what you say you'll do
·
Have the
courage to do the right thing
·
Build a good
reputation
·
Be loyal- stand
by your family, friends, and country
Working with Children and Teens
· Discuss with children or teens
how trust is earned and why we consider others trustworthy. Provide
specific examples and illustrations to express thoughts. Sample
discussion questions may include:
· How do others earn your trust?
· How do you know when you can
trust people?
· Which people do you feel are the
most trustworthy?
Ask
children or teens to write the names of people they can trust and why they
consider them trustworthy. Younger children can draw a picture that
relates to each of their choices.
Practicing
Trustworthiness 1
People with good character are people we can trust. Trust is not automatic. Earning trust takes time, losing trust
can happen quickly. Honesty, promise
keeping, loyalty and integrity are four elements that are key to building
trustworthiness. Use these
guidelines for earning and maintaining trust.
· Tell the truth.
· Be sincere. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
If you find something that doesn’t belong to you, return it.
· Keep your word.
· Be reliable.
· Return things you borrow.
· Keep private information
private.
· Don’t gossip.
· Don’t ask a friend to do
something wrong to keep your friendship.
· Stand up for and act on what you
believe.
· Do the right thing no matter
what you lose in the process.
Are you worthy of trust?
Spend some time thinking about how trust is earned and why it is so
important. Consider one of the
following:
· Your teacher has miscalculated
your test score giving you a higher grade than you deserve. What do you do?
· The teacher is in the hall and
you need a pencil. There are pencils
in the teacher’s desk drawer.
What do you do?
· You did some work on your 4-H
project but when the fair got closer and closer your mom finished the
project for your. You go to
conference judging and the judge asks you if you completed your project all
by yourself? What do you say?
Practicing
Trustworthiness 2
“I trust you.” Doesn’t it feel great when you know
people trust you? Have you ever
thought about how you get people to trust you? You can’t just tell them you are
trustworthy. Trust must be earned by demonstrating honesty,
integrity, promise keeping and loyalty.
Trust is earned, one trustworthy deed at a time. Think about it like a tower.
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Every time you do
something to show you are untrustworthy (miss curfew or not study for a
test) a block is removed from near the bottom of the tower that may cause
the tower to tumble. You must then
start building trust all over again.
Every time you do something to show you are
trustworthy (do your chores, help a friend with homework) a block is
added to the top of your tower.
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Exercise
You have just made the cover of Honest Confessions
magazine. Draw yourself on that
cover and list “articles” that indicate in words or pictures
some of the stories included in that issue.
Here are some suggestions:
“When My Parents Trust Me Most,” “When I Trust My
Parents Most,” “I Destroy/Earn My Parents’ Trust in Me
When I…” and “I Think Trust Is Really Important
Because…
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4-H
Character Connections - Trustworthiness
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“I trust you.” Doesn’t it feel great when you
know people trust you? Have you
ever thought about how you get someone’s trust? You can’t just tell them you are
trustworthy. Trust is earned one
trustworthy deed at a time, but it can be lost very quickly. Trustworthiness means:
·
Being reliable; do what you say you’ll do
·
Having the courage to do the right thing
·
Being loyal; stand by your friends
·
Being honest
·
Not deceiving, cheating or stealing
Infants,
Toddlers and Preschoolers
Teaching your child to be trustworthy
doesn’t happen overnight.
Instead, it is something you should model every day. How do you do that? Consistent interaction. Infants have the capacity to learn from
others. The first years of life
are trust-building years. Every
time you respond quickly and appropriately to your infant’s cries,
coos and smiles you are building trust.
Children who learn to trust others will build trustworthy
characteristics in themselves.
Toddlers need to learn simple rules
(don’t touch, etc); they are very interested in property rights
(mine!); and they need to see you being consistent. Patience and persistence will help your
toddler develop trustworthiness.
Your preschooler can learn about
telling the truth, respecting property of others and following
through. When you pay attention to
and model these behaviors every day, your child will develop into a
trustworthy individual.
School-Age, Middle School and Teens
Trust is an especially big deal to a
teenager. Teen relationships are
vulnerable to real and perceived betrayals of trust. Help your teen understand that trust
has two sides. One is to trust, to
have faith and confidence in the intentions and actions of others –
to believe that he will do the right thing. The other is to be trustworthy –
to demonstrate by words and acts that people can trust him
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Your child should understand that trustworthiness is a
complicated idea but it is essential to meaningful relationships,
long-lasting friendships, and successful associations in school and in
the workplace. Talk to your child
about the four major qualities of trustworthiness and discuss situations
that you both face that challenge each of these qualities.
Integrity –
being true to yourself and living up to your highest and best personal
values
Honesty –
telling the truth and doing what is right even if no one else is doing it
Promise-keeping –
keeping your word and being dependable
Loyalty –
standing by, sticking up for and protecting family, friends and country;
being a good friend and looking out for those who care about you
Tower of Trust Activity
“Towers of trust are built stone by stone; yet no
tower is so tall or so strong that it can stand when lies and deceptions
undermine the stones at its base.”
Talk about this quote with your child. Each of you think about individual
actions that build trust and those actions that erode trust. For example, trust builders might
be: meeting curfew, coming to
watch your teen play ball; going to work on time. Trust eroders might be: saying homework is completed when it
really isn’t, promising to help with a school project and then not
helping or leaving the car windows open when you were asked to close
them.
Adapted
from materials written for US Army Child and Youth Services and USDA
Cooperative State Research, Education, and Extension Service.
CHARACTER COUNTS! and the Six Pillars of Character are
service marks of the CHARACTER COUNTS! Coalition, a project of the
Josephson Institute of Ethics. www.charactercounts.org
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