Fairness
· Play by the rules
· Take turns and share
· Be open minded; listen to others
· Don’t take advantage of
others
· Don’t blame others
carelessly
Working with
Children and Teens
Make a list of some of your family rules and the consequences of not
following them. Ask children what
their rules would be if they were in charge of making them. List these next to the actual rules.
Discuss the rules one by one. Ask, “Is this fair? Why or why not? What would happen if we adopted this
rule?” Compare these to the
first list in terms of fairness.
Decide what will happen if the rules are broken.
Consider revising some of the current rules if youth can
show how their suggestions are more fair.
Children reflect on the issue of fairness in journal
writing exercises and family discussions about what they have written. Have children make journal entries about
fairness with sentence stems like the following examples:
· I am treated fairly when…
· Everyone deserves…
· It’s important to play by
the rules because…
· The way older people are treated
is…
· People are not treated fairly
when…
Practicing
Fairness 1
Fairness is one of the most difficult Pillars of
Character to define clearly. People
often see decisions that help them as being “fair” and those
that do not as being “unfair.”
Fairness is often a matter of perception. Although some decisions are clearly
unfair, the fact is there is usually more than one fair choice. Being fair means you:
· Listen to others and try to
understand what they are feeling and saying.
· Consider all the facts,
including opposing views.
· Use the same standards for
everyone in the same situation.
Are you being fair?
Make a list of some of your family rules and the consequences of not
following them. Ask your children
what their rules would be if they were in charge of making them. List these next to the actual rules. Discuss the rules one by one. Ask, “Is this one fair? Why or why not? What would happen if we adopted this
rule?” Compare these to the
first list in terms of fairness. Decide what will happen if the rules are
broken. Consider revising some of
the current rules if youth can show how their suggestions are fairer.
Practicing
Fairness 2
How many times a day do you proclaim,
“That’s not fair!”?
It seems to be a common statement made by people of all ages. We often see situations that put us at a
disadvantage as “unfair.”
At the very least, fairness means going by the rules, treating
everyone the same, and using the same rules for everyone, so no one has an
unfair advantage.
Exercises
Invite a group of your friends over and suggest you play
a game. Make sure that some of your
friends know before hand that the group will be playing the game using
different rules than usual. Play the
game and watch the reaction of those who don’t know the new rules. Be sure to tell them afterward that this
was an experiment and not a plan you devised to make them mad. Talk about how it felt to not understand
what was going on.
What would you do?
One of your 4-H projects is sheep or beef. A requirement for showing market animals at
the State Fair is to have a nose print of the animal made several months
before the show. While at the Fair
you overhear someone saying they switched their animal after the spring
nose print was made with a prize-winning animal recently purchased from another
state. What would you do? Who is affected by the decision you
make? Who is affected by the
decision made by the other exhibitor?
Why do you think someone would make this kind of switch?
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4-H
Character Connections - Fairness
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“That’s not
fair!!” Sound familiar? It’s commonly heard from people
of all ages. We often think of
situations that put us at a disadvantage as “unfair.” Although some decisions are clearly
unfair, the fact is that there is usually more than one fair choice. Being fair means you:
·
Play by the rules
·
Take turns and share
·
Keep an open-mind and listen to others
·
Avoid taking advantage of others.
Infants,
Toddlers and Preschoolers
How can I teach my very young child
about fairness? Remember, young
children are very impressionable.
They watch everything you do.
If they see you following the rules, sharing with and listening to
others and not placing blame, they will likely follow your example. It is important that you model the
behavior you want to see in your child.
One important way to build a
foundation for teaching fairness is by listening. When your baby babbles, copy her
sounds. Not only are you
encouraging language development but also character development. Infants who are listened to will learn
they are important and valuable and they will be likely to listen to
others when they are older.
Fairness is not easy for toddlers to
understand. There are a number of
things you can do to help them.
1.
Listen.
Get down on their level so they know you are listening.
2.
Share.
Toddlers love to hand toys and other objects to adults which is an
early form of sharing.
3.
Rules.
Some of the first rules toddlers learn revolve around safety
(don’t touch the stove).
This helps set boundaries and helps them begin to understand
fairness.
The number of rules may increase as your toddler
becomes a preschooler. It is also
a good idea to involve them in setting some of the rules.
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Fairness
Relay Activity
Help your child understand the
importance of taking turns by having a relay. Explain that it is important that
everyone gets a turn and that we encourage others when they are doing
something. Here are some relay
suggestions:
1.
Blow a balloon or feather across the room.
2.
Carry a ping-pong ball in a large spoon across the
room.
3.
Balance a feather on your head and walk across
the room.
School-Age, Middle School and Teens
As your child gets older, issues of
fairness will be a part of daily life.
Help your child to understand that decisions should be made
carefully, honestly and objectively.
Make sure she understands that you want fairness from her just as
she wants fairness from you and others.
Again, modeling fairness is one of
the best ways to teach fairness to your child – no matter their
age. Since applying the rules of
fairness is not always easy or clear, it is important that your child see
you making the effort to be open, honest and objective in making
decisions.
Walk
a Mile Activity
Select an issue or topic you and your
child are both interested in – it might be something you have heard
on the news or read in the paper.
For example, a talented high school basketball player moves into
your school during mid-season and promptly replaces one of the original
starting five. Discuss the issues from all points of view and consider
closely the issues of fairness.
Adapted from materials
written for US Army Child and Youth Services and USDA Cooperative State
Research, Education, and Extension Service.
CHARACTER
COUNTS! and the Six Pillars of Character are service marks of the
CHARACTER COUNTS! Coalition, a project of the Josephson Institute of
Ethics. www.charactercounts.org
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